And that is why....

So lately I have been taking my boys to Seven Peaks as they both love and enjoy being in the water. If I didn't know any better I would think they were little mermans!!LOL!! If I don't go then I would send Tj by his self with his cousins and friends and make Kj stay home with me. I am a paranoid mom and don't trust anyone watching my fatso but me or his dad. Not even the the thought of knowing there are life guards there could ease the discomfortable feeling I would have if Kj went there without me. I know my boys are getting older and I need to let them be boys but I would never let Kj go there without me.

After going to Seven Peaks at least 2-3 times a week Kj is pretty familiar with which slides he is able to ride and which ones he can't. He also knows he isn't allowed to go anywhere out of my sight. Well for some reason he had kept begging and crying to go on a slide with his cousin Spencer under the supervision of Tj, Mele and his older cousin Junior. Kj and Spencer are only tall enough to ride about 3 slides there cause the pool at the end of those slides is only 3ft and they are able to stand once they are done. So letting the leash I had on him a little loose, I let him go with his older siblings. While I sat by the wave pool waiting for my boys to return I started to talk with my sister and venting about things that were bothering me. I felt so angry towards certain people that I wanted to get it out and just feel relieved that I didn't have to bottle anything in anymore. After a few minutes we decided to check on the kids. Well the lines were long so they were still in line. We then continued to talk some more. Once they were done, Kj came back to me and told me that the life guards were nice cause they helped him out of the pool. Not thinking anything of it, I told him since the life guard had to help him out he was no longer allowed on that slide without me there. I then watched him and Spencer grab there tubes and play in the shallow end of the wave pool as I continued to talk to Sheena.

After leaving Seven Peaks we came home and did the usual. Shower, eat and get some rest. Well Sheena called me with concern in her voice. She told me that Spencer was telling her the story of what really went on at Seven Peaks when the life guard had pulled fatso out of the water. She said it was more intense and severe then we expected. The way Kj talked to us, he was so casual about it, so I didn't think much of it. Well Spencer said that when they were done riding the slides, the older siblings (Mele and TJ) left them. So they started playing around in the little swimming area provided at the end of the slide they just rode. He then said that both he and Kj kept jumping into the pool from the side of the wall after they would climbed out. They were playing and didn't realize that they were jumping in at the deep end of the pool. Spencer could swim, but Kj, not so much. Spencer said as they were swimming towards the side to climb out Kj started to get tired and started going under water. He couldn't pull Kj up cause they were both going under and were struggling to stay a float so he let go of Kj and swam to the side. Once he got the the side he saw a life guard jump in and grab my son and lift him out and onto the side. They were then told to never enter that part of the pool again. While Sheena was telling me this story I was crying. I was so sad and felt so guilty that I was there and yet my son still almost drowned. Here I was venting my life away while my son was a few feet away from me and was on the verge of losing his life. Once I hung up the phone with Sheena, I went into my boys room to talk to Kj.

I just hugged and kissed him. I then talked to him about what had happened earlier that day. He said he didn't know the pool got deeper the farther down they went. I then asked him why didn't he come back to me when he was done riding the slide and he said they were going to but they didn't see Tj so they were playing until he came back to get them. I found myself getting angry with Tj. I then turned to Tj and asked him why they left there little brothers there and he said that they all got out of the pool and he told them to come to me cause he and his cousins were going somewhere else. He wasn't aware that they had not come back to me, instead they jumped back into the pool. I shouldn't blame TJ cause I am the mom. I just didn't want to face the fact that I was the adult and I was responsible for my kids and yet one of them almost drowned while under MY SUPERVISION:(

There I was venting to my sister about the things going on in my life that were stressing me out and the things that were really bothering me that I didn't realize that the most important things in my life were right in front of me. Instead of focusing on them I was more caught up in talking about things that really weren't important. I realized after hearing what happened yesterday, that my priorities were kind of messed up. Here I was trying to figure out how I was going to deal with the worldly issues that I found myself faced with that I was not paying any attention to the important issues which was to take care of my kids. To make sure they were surrounded by gospel and all its teachings and not my anger and all my yelling. I was so caught up in all the wrong things that I let the important things slip through. Well am grateful for the life guard who saved my son and my nephew who almost drowned too because he was trying to pull Kj to the side of the pool with him. I love my kids and my family. I need to focus more on the important things such as keeping my covenants I made to make sure my kids remain with me for all time and eternity cause that is all that matters. My family makes fun of me that I am such a paranoid mom and need to losen up but after yesterday all I can say to them is.. That is why I am so paranoid.. you can never be to paranoid.