Can't Focus..

Monday was not a good day for me as I forced myself to go into work knowing I did not feel well enough to go in to the office. I had the feeling of discomfort all day. When I got home that evening I realized my chills got worse, I mean I do get cold faster then most people, but the chills I had that night scared me a bit. I had 4 thick blankets and was still looking for more to put on me. I hardly slept that night, I was so cold.

When I did fall asleep I was awaken by one of the most massive, horrifying, throbbing headaches(migraine) I have ever experienced in my whole life. I could not handle it. As I laid there in bed all that kept running through my head was, "This to shall pass", then I lost my train of focus as my alarm went off notifying me that I needed to start getting ready for work. Well I was in pain, I was trying to block that out and knew I wasn't able to drive to work, trying to push myself to do the impossible. I woke up Toa to take me to work. He glanced at me and saw that I did not look like I was in any condition to go to work, and went back to sleep. He seemed kind of annoyed that I even woke him so early in the morning. Before I could even react to his stubborn behavior I was again faced with yet another massive headache that brought me to my knees. I felt like my head was going to explode. Needless to say I did not go into work. Instead I waited for Toa to get T.J ready and off to school and get K.J fed and dropped off to his sisters house while I went to check to see what was wrong with me. I went to see my physician and she began to tell me that I had a bad sinus infection, hence the massive migraines. I also have a really bad sore throat which they assumed was something along the lines of strep or something similar to Bronchitis , but I don't recall the word she used, as I was just focusing on the main reason I was there, to get some quick fix meds so I didn't have to deal with the pain. The only advise I got was to take a few prescribed medication and alot of rest.

Last night I could not do much but lounged around and watch my family come and go. Toa and T.J had plans prior to me being sick therefore they needed to leave, he took K.j because he felt like I needed to rest, which I did. In all honesty, I guess I wanted him to stay home with me and keep me company. I hated being home and alone all day. I was so exhausted from the lack of sleep I got the night before that I did not have time to really talk to Toa or my kids. I had to have my kids get things for me because I could not stand for to long, or have them sit next to me and tell me stories while rubbing my head. Not having there help was not why I hated being alone but it did help alot when they were home. Thats just how I have always been. The headaches went on all day, until I had gone searching in Toa's closet to find his anointment oil so that he could give me a blessing, I mean I assumed that is why he had got it. He looked surprised that I had even grabbed the oil and asked him to do this for me, but he looked away and then called his dad who rushed over and did the blessing for him as he was afraid he would mess up. Quite frankly at that point I did not care who gave me the blessing, I just wanted one. I am so grateful I got the blessing. I am so grateful for my family and there faith in the gospel. I honestly don't know where I would be today if I didn't have it in my life. At some of my lowest points in life I felt like I've always needed a blessing and even though it didn't take away my problems or pain, it gave me the comfort needed at that time.

Some of you might be thinking a Sinus Infection caused that much pain.. and to you I say this...."Yes, that much pain and more!!" I don't know if it was a combination of my sinus infection, prescribed meds, lack of sleep and stress that has been building up in me or what, but I hope never to experience that kind of pain again. I thought labor was bad!! Even though I got the epidural I felt some pain still, so that counts!!LOL!! So that is what my last few days have been like. I can't really complain. At least I found the source of my problem and am working to fix it!

I am so tired right now, but yet again I still can not sleep, therefore, my post probably doesn't make sense and does not stick to one topic! So, I am sorry if I confused you, but if it helps I am feeling a little confused myself at the moment!!LOL!! So tired like, I can't focus on one topic. There are so many going through my head that I want to blog about, so I mixed some together and created this post!! This is just a few of many of the thoughts going on in my little exhausted brain! That is it for me ... at least for tonight..