So we will start at the beginning.. From when I think all my troubles had started.. And then it will lead up to where I am now in life.
Late this summer as you might know I had quit my job in hopes that it would bring my family together and allow us to strengthen our faith and grow stronger. I then decided that I would trust in the Lord and he will see me through it. However I cant express how stressful these past few weeks have been. I would catch myself crying at night praying and asking for the strength needed to get me through this and I felt like he hasn't answered me. Then I realized that he has answered me along time ago and I didn't listen only because it not what I wanted.
Hold that thought... I will get back to that in a minute....Or at the end!!LOL!!
About two weeks ago I had an unbearable toothache that caused my cheek to swell up a little. So I went in and come to find out that it was my wisdom tooth.. Uughh..It was so painful. On top of that they weren't able to pull it because it was infected so I went home with prescriptions to clear the swelling and kill the pain. They informed me that the tooth should be pulled in about 4 days once the swelling was gone!! They also suggested that I pull all of them because they were all in and they would all start to cause me grief sooner then later. I had no insurance so I signed up with there dental plan that way it would only cost me $500 to pull them all, as to the $850 for one!! Yes I know its a great deal but mind you I still am not working and our bills are catching up... So yes another thing to add to my long list of stress . Well a few days ago I started to get massive headaches that would not go away.. I mean so bad that I felt nauseated every time i was up doing anything to long, such as riding in a car, walking around or just sitting there. So I started to fear I was coming down with something!! Then for some weird reason I started asking looking into my meds. I mean I didn't have any fever, cough,sore throat, or body aches.. Just massive headaches..So I knew I wasn't sick.. and yes I'm an emotional girl so i figured my nose was runny cause I cried alot!!LOL!! I know I'm a cry baby when I am stressed out!! I would go through my day with only a few hours of rest each night because the headaches were so bad and stress so that caused me to be so tired. Any who long story short It was my meds. My body was relying on the meds day and night because i would take them as instructed , however they were not intended for long periods of time. For example I didn't have the money to get them pulled so I just kept taking the meds to kill the pain instead of stopping after 7 days like it said and now its back firing on me:( Since I have learned that I've stopped taking them and I was told that I would have headaches for a few more days because my body is searching for them and feels like it cant function without them. So now it has to get back to normal. So now I have a headache that's bearable and a toothache that wont stop.... Uughh... I wish I won the lottery at this point!!!...
So my lease is up for our apartment as well and Toa's ready to move. He doesn't want to stay here anymore. He says we will save more if we move back to our family's house. I on the other hand feel like I have to have my own place, something I can call home! Our rent is due or we have to move.. And I feel so torn.. .. We are capable of paying it but I don't know if my husband will, he insist on saving our money and moving. I really want my own place but I agree with my husband on this and this only, that we don't want to struggle and live check to check. On the other hand I found a job and I feel like once I start we could make it through these hard times. I don't know what else to do in this situation but pray for the strength to get me through whats about to happen.....
I do have a testimony that God does exist and he works in mysterious ways and that he does answer "ALL" our prayers even if its not what we expect. I feel like I'm going to have to learn that the hard way. I am working on myself and how to improve in anyway that I can. I know it all comes down to figuring out what means most to me!! We only have one life and I know its not meant to be wasted on stress that could have been prevented. I just hope that I find that strength in me to do what is needed of me. Well thanks for letting me vent and write your ears off!!! Love you all....
6 comments:
So sorry I haven't been there for you Klarah. I have been so busy myself with Selini and kids and schedules and family things going on. I know the stress you are feeling tho, I've felt it b4...Trust your Heavenly Father and ask him with all humility as what it is he should have you do. He is the ONLY one that can calm your stress and give you the answers you need. Listen to him and most importantly TRUST IN HIM!! Love you and keep the faith!! :)
Klarah if you read in the YW lesson book, lesson 37 talks about taking care of our phyical bodies. It states in that lesson that if you don't take care of youself physically, then how can you take care of yourself spiritually. The Lord is trying to reach you Klarah, it's just that your physical pain is overwhelming every aspect of your life right now.
Klarah, take care of you and only you first. How can you be a good mother, wife, sister, friend..etc if you are in so much pain. Please Klarah for once, I know its hard, but do something for YOU. Trust me everything else will fall into place. Your channel with the Lord will be clear and you will be able to Hear Him. He loves YOU.
I love yer suggestions Cia..and it makes sooo much sense!!! Lala, I you are so smart and yer faith in the Lord is not in vain. Seems like you are ready for whatever is about to come yer way. Trust, trust, trust. He will not leave you hanging.
On a sidenote, there is an investigational medication that they are doing a study on and they are looking for people who need their wisdom teeth taken out. Usually these things are up and coming pain medications and they need to have a certain amount of study on the med before the FDA can release it to the public and so they will pay to have things like your wisdom teeth taken out, or your bunion removed, and then they give you either the real pain med or a placebo and they ask you to monitor your pain and keep track of how you feel and stuff...they also give you money if you participate...anyways, dont know if you would be interested in a study like that, id'd do it just for the money, but have no wisdom teeth...LOL!! lemme know if you wanna do this, i hear it advertised on the radio all the time but i dont have nubmer but im sure we can look it up online.
Good luck with everything you are going thru!! Im here if you need anyting. Love you.
hey sis... well you can call me anytime when your minutes are free...obviously...lol...i know times are hard and i understand the struggle but god does answer prayer in different ways and it may not be what you expect...but its what you need to do. our versoin of god answering prayers is winning the lotto, getting a job, or finding money...sometimes he takes people out that way he can bring your heart closer to him...sometimes he takes materialistic things away to like i said earlier be closer to him. last but not least he never gives you more than you can handle...and when you think its just to much just remember hes making you tougher spiritually...you just have to stay positive...i love you so much and i know how you feel...there were plenty of times where i felt broken and broke...let me just say i failed spiritually and lost my way everything i went through was god just forcing me to see that i need him and trust and believe...we all do...lol...call me...answer your phone...muah
p.s. whats the poin of a phone if you send me to voicemail after you told me to call you?...hmmmmmmmmmmmm...think about it...
*point
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